Finding Love Again
by JoMoFan-spot
Summary: E&C SLASH. Jay and Adam's love is tested. Will they prevail? Pairing; Christian/Edge. For HardyBoys4Eva.


Title: **Finding Love Again**

_Pairing(s)__: Christian/Edge_

_Rating(s)__: PG 13._

_Disclaimer__: None of the character used belong to me._

_A/N__: Dedicated to dear HardyBoyz4Eva._

_S/N__: Set during the time when Christian jumped ship to TNA._

o~o

The clatter of dishes was loud enough to startle Jay out of his slumber. If it had been a normal kitchen activity, he wouldn't be bothered. But he knew it was another reminder of the fact that Adam was still in a pretty shitty mood thanks to Jay's most recent fuck up. Poor dishes were just paying the price on Jay's behalf.

He rubbed his hands onto his face, sighing tiredly. How the fuck did he manage to screw everything up so damn easily? It seemed like since this 'long distance relationship' kicked off, no matter what Jay did, or how hard he tried, shit was destined to blow up against him. He was getting to the point where he was contemplating stop trying for good.

Last night was another disappointment. A horrible fight exploded all for no reasons. Or probably for the right enough reasons which Jay just wasn't willing to face. Thinking about how vulnerable their relationship currently was draining as hell. But fighting like that almost every week was way more draining.

Jay hadn't been careful and now it was costing them. He knew damn well about Adam's insecurity about their relationship since Jay broke the news to him about jumping ship to TNA. He had fed him false promises and hope that nothing will change between them and their love was strong enough to make it work even when they were so far apart while on the road. Jay should have known better.

Through their whole life, Jay was there to see through Adam. Every fear of his. Every insecurity of his. Adam trusted Jay with his life. He depended on Jay. Whether it was the comfort he sought, or the assurance or confidence he constantly needed. And to be honest, it was the same for Jay. Adam was his everything for the longest. And Adam was always there for him in his time of need. Up until now, when things had started to fall apart one by one.

Few months ago when Jay decided to take a turn in his career and jump ship to TNA, he knew it would put a major strain on their relationship. But he chose to be inconsiderate in the matter. For him, at that point, his career needed a boost at any cost. His first mistake was not consulting Adam about it and just making the decision himself. Only letting Adam know afterwards. At first Adam was mad because he felt Jay blindsided him. But then through long talks they reached an understanding and Adam despite all his concerns and doubts put his trust in Jay. Which he obviously was regretting now. Adam's health was getting bad. He was starting to look more tired and exhausted all the time. Minor injuries were constantly surrounding him. Adam may had been on a wonderful boost in his career, but he was miserable without Jay. And it was starting to show. Jay saw it too. He just chose to ignore it. He realized that the little time they had together at home, he was distant and inattentive. He didn't know how to deal with things and balance out his personal and professional life, so he took the easy way out of living in denial. But with the passage of time, Adam's frustration was growing bigger and bigger, and it was forcing Jay to confront their issues. Jay wished that the circumstances would cooperate with him a little and he could offer some kind of a way out of their problems before everything blows up to smokes with no going back.

Flasback of their last night argument filled his mind. Adam got home after three week tour on the road and Jay had promised him that they'll have quality home time that'll make up for all the time apart on the phone a week before. Adam had told Jay about his plan to land on Friday at 1:00 AM. Jay was suppose to pick him up. Instead, Jay forgot to do so.

What made matters worse was that he was having a night out with one of his TNA buddy AJ Styles. Who in Adam's words was becoming a serious threat to Jay and Adam's relationship. Adam had warned him time to time but Jay had shrugged it off as Adam being too jealous. When Adam had called Jay from the airport after waiting several minutes, unfortunately for Jay, he was up to get some drinks and AJ had picked up his phone. He was handed over the phone when he got back to their table…

_"Oh yeah…he's just getting us some drinks...Oh...here he comes…Jay, its for you, honey"_ AJ's style was flirty and Jay didn't understand why he chose to use an endearment all of a sudden. But he soon got his answer when he found Adam on the other line.

To say that he wasn't aware of AJ's interest in him would be wrong. Being alone for too many days, he kinda enjoyed the kid's company and played along which he always felt guilty for afterwards. He still remembered the hurt tone of Adam's…

_"Oh, hey baby" Jay said nervously._

_"I am at the airport." Adam said plainly. And it suddenly hit Jay. Dammit._

_"Oh shit…"_

_"Its okay Jay. You obviously had better things to do than picking me up." Adam said hurtfully._

_"I am so sorry Adam…I'll be right there I promise…" Jay knew he did a shitty thing and there was no covering it up, but he had to try._

_"Don't bother. I am taking a cab." And with that Adam had shut the phone._

When Jay got home, he had found Adam lying down on the bed, still dressed. His eyes were fixed on the wall and he had such a painful hurt expression on his face that it about killed Jay. He never hated himself more than he did in that moment. He was Adam's comfort, yet he was the cause of his constant misery. He had to try to make it right. He just had to, even though it seemed so out of reach.

_Jay knelt besides Adam and gently caressed his forehead, but Adam flinched away. It seemed like he only now caught Jay's presence._

_"I am so so sorry Adam…Please…" Jay reached out to touch Adam again, only for Adam to shrug his hand off._

_"Leave me alone" Adam said with a dead serious tone. And it scared Jay. Maybe this time, he really pushed the last buttons._

_"Adam, I know I fucked up, but please, its not what you think…I was just…" Jay tried to explain – even though there was nothing to explain - but Adam cut him off midway._

_"Save it Jay. I told you, things were not working. But damn you for feeding me false hope!" Adam's eyes were filled with angry tears as he sat up._

_"I didn't feed you false hope! I WANT us to work dammit! What do you think its easy on me? To be so apart from you and lonely, I fucking suffer too!" Jay said desperately. He knew he had no justified argument, but he had to say something._

_"Don't you turn this shit on me, you hear me! I am the fucking lonely being here! You obviously have your buddy to have some 'fun' with!"_

_Jay felt frustration rising in him. It wasn't that he didn't feel guilty enough already. Adam had a right to be angry. Jay didn't. But Jay still got angry. Angry at himself. Angry at the situations he was constantly finding himself in. Angry at the fact that he was scared as hell to lose Adam and he didn't know what to do. To add fire to the fuel, he soon found himself lost in the heat of the argument too._

_"Adam, stop this. You have some serious trust issues. And if anyone, I should be offended."_

_Adam's eyes narrowed at that, "Oh I have trust issues? That's funny because you are the one caught having god knows what kind of entertainment with that bitch at the mid of the night and it got you so distracted you fucking forgot about me! Who are you fooling Jay? Not me obviously."_

_"Oh I am not fooling anyone, Adam! You are being a jealous bitch and if its about having entertaining company, I have my doubts about you and Randy too!"_

_Jay regretted it as soon as he said it. He knew right then and there that he had crossed the line. Randy was like a brother to Adam. They were very good friends and Randy was in a happy committed relationship. He obviously took a shot at their innocent friendship to counter his guilt._

_Adam's eyes turned a pool of despair from furious. He was almost shaking with the intense emotion and his fists were clenched tightly. The regret on Jay's face didn't make it any better and Adam dropped his head, shaking it slightly._

_"Adam…"_

_Jay carefully moved his hand forward to take a hold of Adam's arm but Adam shook him off again, "Don't…Don't touch me…Please…Leave me alone…" Adam said, his voice shaking too._

_"No Adam…We can…" Jay tried again. He couldn't just give up on Adam. There was no Jay without Adam. And he knew there was no Adam without his Jay._

_"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Adam lashed out and Jay was taken aback at the sudden outburst. Adam didn't wait for too long and when he saw Jay not moving, he got up and stormed out of their bedroom. Jay followed like a lost puppy but Adam slammed the guest bedroom door on his face. Jay stood there thinking about how fucked up the situation really was for God knows how many minutes. Sometime during the night he fell into his bed with a heavy heart and too many thoughts that kept him from sleeping peacefully._

Jay sat on the side of the bed with his elbows on his knees and hands propped up under his chin. He was still lost in previous night's events. He felt like complete shit at the moment. He didn't want to face Adam, yet he couldn't help but feel that this was it. If he was willing to put a little effort for Adam and their relationship's sake, for his own sake, he had to do it now. He had to show some consideration now. He had to be sensitive now.

He looked at the door and contemplated his options. On one hand, he was dreading facing Adam and going through possibly another guilt trip. But on the other hand he wanted to feel determined. To hope for a chance.

After few more minutes, Jay gathered up some courage and went into the kitchen to hopefully have a talk…a meaningful talk with Adam.

o~o

Jay walked into the kitchen and took a chair. Adam had his back towards Jay and Jay held his breath. Searching for the right words that won't make matters worse.

Before he could utter anything though, Adam turned back and their eyes met. Adam glared at him before turning back around and doing whatever he was doing. Jay rubbed his forehead as he said, "Are we still fighting?"

"No." Jay was surprised at that but not for too long as Adam continued, "I am just not talking to you."

Jay sighed and got up from his chair. He moved towards Adam and carefully reached around him from behind, only for Adam to shake him off and move away.

"Please, Adam…I hate this. I hate fighting. I hate us being miserable. I hate being an ass. I hate hurting you. I don't mean to no matter what you say…"

Adam cut him off as he accused, "Stop lying to me Jay! Please fucking stop it! YOU DON'T CARE!"

Something in Jay snapped in that moment as he angrily took hold of Adam's shoulders and almost screamed in his face, "I DON'T CARE? I don't fucking care? Does it look like I don't care, Adam? I fucking miss you as much! I fucking hate fighting with the person who is more important to me than any damn thing! I fucking hate being the selfish bastard who is making you miserable when I am suppose to take care of you…When I am suppose to make you happy!…I am fucking scared Adam…I am scared as hell to lose you…I have been an ass…I may have allowed AJ the closeness to a point where its dangerous, but I fucking love YOU! I love you more than life itself and no matter what you think and say, I WANT to save us!" Jay's voice was filled with intense emotion. His eyes shining with desperate tears.

Adam looked at him with a surprised expression and he didn't shook Jay off this time. He was finally seeing some emotion from Jay. He was wanting to believe him again, but he just couldn't. He couldn't put himself in that vulnerable spot again. No. But Jay this time seemed so different…Almost broken. As broken as Adam felt inside. Adam shook off the softening feelings that were rising in him as he said something that broke his heart;

"You are not saving us, Jay. You are only drifting us apart more. You promised me nothing will change, but everything has changed. This is not gonna work. Let me be ready for it. Let me anticipate it because I wouldn't be able to deal with it otherwise. I love you too much and I stop wanna…This is not working…this won't work…Just stop…"

And with that, Adam took Jay's hands off him and almost ran towards his bedroom.

It didn't stop Jay. Not this time. He was going to try till his last possible effort.

He followed Adam and entered the room, finding Adam laying face down on the bed. Face buried in the pillow. He was sniffling and that gave Jay an idea that he wasn't the only emotional one right now.

He moved towards the bed and sat besides Adam, placing his hand on Adam's back. Again, Adam didn't flinch away. This gave Jay some hope. Before he could say something though, all of a sudden Adam sat up and launched himself in Jay's arms. Hugging him so tightly that for a moment Jay lost his breath. Adam buried his face in Jay's neck and he shook slightly as he cried. All Jay could do was hug Adam back and pet his hair. Trying to calm him. He didn't know what got into Adam, but he was thankful to have Adam clinging to him for the comfort he always did before all of this mess happened. And he couldn't stop the tears forming into his own eyes.

"Baby…" Jay murmured in a soft voice.

"Please Jay…I don't wanna lose you. I don't. Please…"

Jay's heart tightened and he pulled Adam tighter against his chest, "Adam…We are not gonna lose each other…I promise you…Just give me one chance…I'll do anything…ANYTHING to make it work…I promise you…I am not lying…I want this as bad as you…Just one chance?"

"What if it doesn't work? What if you don't comply? I don't wanna be hurt Jay…Its tiring…" Adam said as his voice broke.

"You won't…Sweetheart, just this last time trust me and I'll do whatever in my power to make it right…Please?"

Adam pulled back and looked at Jay's desperate face. His heart melting and he felt like he was looking at the same Jay he fell in love for the first time since they were pulled apart on the road. What was there to lose? If it meant one more hope to have his dream life with Jay, he was willing to give it one last try.

"Okay." Adam said slowly and Jay's eyes lit, "Okay? You mean, you are letting me off the hook?" Jay asked with hopeful eyes and Adam nodded. "Oh thank you!" Jay pulled Adam back to him and they both shared a heart felting hug.

o~o

_(Few months Past)_

Adam stood before the vanity and gave himself a last approving look. Jay was taking him out to a dinner and he wanted to look his best for his man. Jay deserved that from him after all the effort he was putting in to make Adam happy. Since that eventful night, Adam was thankful to say that not only Jay kept his word, but also went out of his way to get the best out of their relationship. Adam started to feel happy again. Adam started to feel their relationship was healthy again. And more about, Adam started to feel loved and in love again. Jay was being more attentive. More caring. He would make the best out of their time together and he wanted Jay to know that he appreciated it all a lot.

"Are you ready my love?"

Jay's voice startled Adam out of his thoughts and he smiled at his lover as he nodded. Jay was neatly dressed in jeans and a dress shirt and he looked absolutely delicious to Adam's eyes.

Jay returned Adam's smile and moved forward to take a hold of his hands as he said, "You look absolutely beautiful."

Adam blushed at the compliment and returned the favor, "You look gorgeous yourself. Now, what's this night about? Why am I getting a special vibe about it?" Adam asked curiously and Jay gave him a crocked grin as he said, "Soon my love. Soon. Now shall we leave?" Jay offered his arm to Adam who took it gladly and the happy couple moved out of the house.

o~o

Adam gave his surrounding an appreciative glance as he finished his desert. For some reason, they were the only occupants except the staff in the restaurant. And Jay had smirked at Adam's inquiry. Jay was a complete gentleman. He held out the door for Adam as well as his chair out for him and Adam was almost nervous at over the top special treatment. Something was definitely up.

"So, you enjoyed your meal, Darling?"

Jay asked and Adam nodded, "Of course. Everything I love. You really are in a spoiling mood tonight aren't you?"

"For the right reasons, Baby. Now if you are finished with your desert, I have something to ask you."

Adam looked at Jay with curiosity as he nodded. Jay gave him a soft smile and got up from his chair. He got down on one knee and shuffled through his pocket to bring out a small box. Adam's breath skipped a beat. No way.

"Oh my God..." Adam babbled as he realized what this meant.

"Oh my God, right..." Jay shook his head in amusement as he opened the box and took out the beautiful ring out of it. He took a hold of Adam's hand in his and Adam held his breath.

"Adam Joseph Copeland, you are my world. My life. I wanted to prove to you that no matter how much of a fuck up I am, I am always yours. And I am always willing to try to be better for you. I want you forever. Will you marry me?"

Adam's eyes were widened and to say that he was overjoyed wouldn't be an overstatement. His eyes sparkled with happiness as he replied, "Yes...Oh my God, Yes!"

Jay grinned at that and put the ring on Adam's finger. They both looked at the little piece of jewelry that held so much meaning to them and beamed in the moment for a minute.

Adam held his arms out and Jay got up to place a soft kiss on his lips and then went to hug his baby.

They both felt they reached their happy ending after a tough trial and their love was strong enough, indeed.

o~o

**A/N; May seem a bit of a cheesy ending, but I am coming off from a major block. I am posting whatever I managed. Sorry if its not good, lol.**


End file.
